Yes, from my own accord. Mostly. Really... I have been pestered by this impression to start a blog for... oh... probably a year now... but especially lately. I am not a blogger though. I appreciate everyone else's blogs and always wish THEY would write frequently and such.. but I am not a blogger. Anna engineered and maintained our blog in Jerusalem, and my sister posted my mission letters. That is the extent of my blogging. Until now. I am unsure of why I am starting this... but only that I strongly feel that I should. I hope that whatever content that may fill it... shall be to the comforting, teaching, inspiring, or at least ENTERTAINMENT... of someone.
You see... we have been told innumerable times to use social media for a greater work... but I have always let that fly past me.. because of course that commandment is for those that have something to share or something valuable to say. I suppose in that... I have overlooked and devalued the reality of the sacred and miraculous experiences I have almost daily. Perhaps the Lord is sick of me being so selfish in keeping these moments to myself and He intends these experiences to be for a grander purpose. The reality is... my life is full and beautiful. The Lord is constantly making Himself manifest to me in so many different faucets of my life.. and I must stop hesitating in the declaration of that.
Since the return of my mission, I have been working in an ICU in Salt Lake City, Utah. Despite my life-long declarations that "I will NEVER live in Utah"... the Lord saw necessary to serve me my own words. I had wanted to work in an ICU since I had ever thought of becoming a nurse... but without previous nursing experience and not having been in an American hospital for 3 years... I didn't dare even ask in prayer to get a job in an ICU. I knew I wasn't worthy or ready for that. Since returning from my mission... I was, however, seeking to go WHEREVER He wanted me to go. I felt like I didn't belong in Spokane during this next phase of my life... but I had no idea where to go. I started sending out applications all over the country.. but with such a weak resume, I wasn't surprised by the lack of responses. I then started planning to stay in Spokane with my family as I finished up my bachelors degree in nursing online and work as an RN in the nursing home where I already had a job.
One day, as I was working, the Spirit clearly told me, "Go to Utah for a week." - which made NO sense to me. So... I ignored it. Later... it came again.. but even stronger: "Go to Utah for a week!" So... I started making plans to go to General Conference with my family for the weekend.... but the Spirit gave me one more surprisingly threatening warning, "NO! FOR. A. WEEK." ... and though confused and frustrated... feeling that my time would be better served being productive and working in Spokane rather than bumming around Utah for NO REASON... I succeeded.
While in Utah... I met the famous Sister Schmidt that had served as a nurse before me in my mission. When she told me that she worked at LDS hospital in the ICU, I told her how that is one of my far off dreams... and then she stopped and said, "wait... did you apply for that job?" I thought about all the dozens of jobs I had applied for and knew it was possible... and then she said, "because my manager just showed me an application from a girl that just got off her mission in El Salvador and asked if I knew her... and I think it was you!!!" ... so... Sister Schmidt, AKA, Michelle, called the manager and told her I was in town... and the manager said, "PERFECT. Three people just quit- bring her in for an interview!".... and because I was there for that whole week... I was able to be there for an interview. It felt so right and became so clear... that I was being "transferred" to Salt Lake City.
These last two years have been full of surprising trials, pains, joys, miracles, opportunities, and blessings. In so many ways... it has not gone how I had planned or expected... but I feel like it has been what I have needed. I have lived with two girls from my mission and have been able to meet some of the most incredible angels from all over the world that have taught, served, nurtured, and loved me. I have seen examples of faithful saints that have embellished my own understanding and dedication to the gospel.I have worked in one of the BEST ICUs in the whole world... and have loved the team that I have been honored to be a part of. I have had some of the most sacred experiences of my life with my patients and coworkers there. Those rooms and halls are forever hallowed in my heart. I have been blessed to serve as a temple worker in the Salt Lake temple, and a substitute seminary teacher. I have seen friends get baptized... and really felt like I was living such a dream only to be improved by having my own family. I could have happily stayed in Salt Lake for many years more... but that is not where I am now.
I have been asked so many times why I am leaving. If things are so good in Salt Lake... my job... friends... roommates...marriage prospects... why drop it all? What do I expect elsewhere? ... I don't know. Just as I didn't know why I was going to Salt Lake for a week that April 2012... I don't exactly know why I just packed my car and took off to Maine. Other than... it felt right.
Being a travel nurse has always been of interest to me. I am adventurous... and am known to have a restless soul. Yet... as I became so comfortable and content in Salt Lake.. the prospect of being a travel nurse nearly lost it's appeal. Perhaps... that's what pushed me towards it too. It startled me to become so comfortable and content in life...it became borderline complacency. I awoke to the realization... that I needed to go.
I again found myself on my knees... pleading to go WHEREVER He wanted me to go. Yet... in my mind... I had the fantasy of going to a big, assiduous city full of diversity and adventure...... I especially wanted to go to Washington D.C. and be with my big brother. Though I prayed with "open minded" requests... I bowed my head with fingers and even toes crossed for what I wanted. I was talking to lots of different agencies... and told them what states and cities I was interested in... and had them focus on D.C. There are needs for ICU nurses aaaaaaall over the country- I could really have thrown a dart at wherever and have gone. Recruiters kept insisting that the big money was in California... others swore by the beaches of Florida... and so on. This search went on for... weeks.. perhaps even months. One day.. a recruiter sent me an email saying something like, "I know this is really random and NOT what you have been thinking.. but this job posting just jumped out at me... and I thought I should shoot it by you. Just a thought... you don't have to even consider it... but... I just thought maybe..." When I opened the job and saw that it was for a little town in Maine... before I could mentally process it... my heart leaped and was instantly infused with light. It... felt so right.
After accepting the job, I called the bishop of the ward and asked him what it was like there and if he knew anyone willing to rent out a room. He seemed confused as to why this single 24 year old girl was going there and asked if I was sure. I laughed and tried to tell him that I was indeed sure I was crazy...and that I needed to go there. I told him a little about myself, and he said, "wow... that is so interesting... because we were just saying in our bishopric meeting yesterday how much we could use a return missionary sister that has a car and would be willing to work with these new sister missionaries we have here. Wow... funny how the Lord works, huh?"
So... going to a little 10,000 people town in some of the most underpopulated land in the country... was not what I had imagined when I said, "wherever!"... but... I said it... and I intended to mean it. SO... after getting back from my trip to Belize on monday night... tuesday morning... I jumped into my car and headed to... Maine.
While in Utah... I met the famous Sister Schmidt that had served as a nurse before me in my mission. When she told me that she worked at LDS hospital in the ICU, I told her how that is one of my far off dreams... and then she stopped and said, "wait... did you apply for that job?" I thought about all the dozens of jobs I had applied for and knew it was possible... and then she said, "because my manager just showed me an application from a girl that just got off her mission in El Salvador and asked if I knew her... and I think it was you!!!" ... so... Sister Schmidt, AKA, Michelle, called the manager and told her I was in town... and the manager said, "PERFECT. Three people just quit- bring her in for an interview!".... and because I was there for that whole week... I was able to be there for an interview. It felt so right and became so clear... that I was being "transferred" to Salt Lake City.
These last two years have been full of surprising trials, pains, joys, miracles, opportunities, and blessings. In so many ways... it has not gone how I had planned or expected... but I feel like it has been what I have needed. I have lived with two girls from my mission and have been able to meet some of the most incredible angels from all over the world that have taught, served, nurtured, and loved me. I have seen examples of faithful saints that have embellished my own understanding and dedication to the gospel.I have worked in one of the BEST ICUs in the whole world... and have loved the team that I have been honored to be a part of. I have had some of the most sacred experiences of my life with my patients and coworkers there. Those rooms and halls are forever hallowed in my heart. I have been blessed to serve as a temple worker in the Salt Lake temple, and a substitute seminary teacher. I have seen friends get baptized... and really felt like I was living such a dream only to be improved by having my own family. I could have happily stayed in Salt Lake for many years more... but that is not where I am now.
I have been asked so many times why I am leaving. If things are so good in Salt Lake... my job... friends... roommates...marriage prospects... why drop it all? What do I expect elsewhere? ... I don't know. Just as I didn't know why I was going to Salt Lake for a week that April 2012... I don't exactly know why I just packed my car and took off to Maine. Other than... it felt right.
Being a travel nurse has always been of interest to me. I am adventurous... and am known to have a restless soul. Yet... as I became so comfortable and content in Salt Lake.. the prospect of being a travel nurse nearly lost it's appeal. Perhaps... that's what pushed me towards it too. It startled me to become so comfortable and content in life...it became borderline complacency. I awoke to the realization... that I needed to go.
I again found myself on my knees... pleading to go WHEREVER He wanted me to go. Yet... in my mind... I had the fantasy of going to a big, assiduous city full of diversity and adventure...... I especially wanted to go to Washington D.C. and be with my big brother. Though I prayed with "open minded" requests... I bowed my head with fingers and even toes crossed for what I wanted. I was talking to lots of different agencies... and told them what states and cities I was interested in... and had them focus on D.C. There are needs for ICU nurses aaaaaaall over the country- I could really have thrown a dart at wherever and have gone. Recruiters kept insisting that the big money was in California... others swore by the beaches of Florida... and so on. This search went on for... weeks.. perhaps even months. One day.. a recruiter sent me an email saying something like, "I know this is really random and NOT what you have been thinking.. but this job posting just jumped out at me... and I thought I should shoot it by you. Just a thought... you don't have to even consider it... but... I just thought maybe..." When I opened the job and saw that it was for a little town in Maine... before I could mentally process it... my heart leaped and was instantly infused with light. It... felt so right.
After accepting the job, I called the bishop of the ward and asked him what it was like there and if he knew anyone willing to rent out a room. He seemed confused as to why this single 24 year old girl was going there and asked if I was sure. I laughed and tried to tell him that I was indeed sure I was crazy...and that I needed to go there. I told him a little about myself, and he said, "wow... that is so interesting... because we were just saying in our bishopric meeting yesterday how much we could use a return missionary sister that has a car and would be willing to work with these new sister missionaries we have here. Wow... funny how the Lord works, huh?"
So... going to a little 10,000 people town in some of the most underpopulated land in the country... was not what I had imagined when I said, "wherever!"... but... I said it... and I intended to mean it. SO... after getting back from my trip to Belize on monday night... tuesday morning... I jumped into my car and headed to... Maine.
Kali uou have so much goodness and life to share I'm happy you decided to blog even though you're not a blogger :)
ReplyDeleteI am going to miss you Kay! You are amazing! You know I was super lucky to be your roommate for two years. You have changed my life! Love you!
ReplyDeleteK, so happy for your new adventure. Think of me when you play your Mormon Tabernacle CD, and when you feel you need a hug. I always have one for you. Thank you for your love and for sharing this with me. What a great blessing you have become to me!
ReplyDeleteAnd I am so very grateful that you went to salt lake, I know you needed to be there and I was so blessed to have you with me.
ReplyDelete